Creation Science 101 - by Roy Zimmerman

I write satirical songs - funny songs about politics, social issues, etc. It's getting easier and easier, frankly. A lot of my shows are sponsored by Freethinkers, Secular Students, Centers for Inquiry, Coalitions for Reason, Humanists, Skeptics and other heathens. One reason for this is my song "Creation Science 101."

"Creation Science 101" is a song about Creationism, and teaching it as "science" in the public schools, a notion put forth by Evangelicals across the country. I say go ahead and teach "Creation Science" as long as you teach all the other creation myths - the Karmic Wheel, the armpit of Ymir, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Scientology version, which states the world was created on a bet between God and L. Ron Hubbard. I videotaped the song, and posted it on YouTube where it was picked up and featured on YouTube's front page. (I don't know how this happens - it's a mysterious process that has something to do with Intelligent Design.) Pretty soon, the video boasted a million views, and tens of thousand of comments, some of them coherent. It's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs, and it starts like this:

God made the world in seven days
Well, that's one week, to be specific
Now, that's what I call scientific
Say halleluiah, sing His praise.

Other songwriters wrote songs in answer to my song, like this one by Billy Bob Neck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGBK5uktWWY. And it turns out, there's an actual class called "Creation
Science 101" taught by Dr. Kent Hovind in this video, posted by slaves4christ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlem1R-lUF0. Amazing! Unbelievable, you might say.

I even visited the Creation Museum (http://creationmuseum.org/), a 27-million dollar facility in Petersburg, KY put together by the "Answers in Genesis" people (A.I.G., oddly enough) where you can see life-sized dioramas of Adam and Eve with their dinosaurs on leashes. I must admit, I learned a great deal. Eve was gorgeous, did you know that? She looked like Cher with well-placed hair. And I looked around at all the people, Baptist School busloads of people there at the Creation Museum on a Saturday morning, and I had an evolving revelation: I LIKE these people. They're smart and funny; they love each other, and they want good things for their world.

And that is why I write satirical songs. Not just for Liberals and heathens who might tend to agree with me, but also for smart, funny, good people who might disagree. And that's why, when I perform these songs at the Stargazers Theater on Wednesday, February 22, in a concert sponsored by the Freethinkers of Colorado Springs, I won't be making fun of people's true beliefs. I'll be making fun of hypocrisy, absurdity, pomposity, willful ignorance, lust, and greed.

Hope to see you there.