Twice a month the Colorado Springs City Council begins their meetings with prayer. Councilwoman Judy Noyes feels this can be offensive and would like to have prayer replaced with a moment of silence. Personally, I think having someone offer prayers before the City Council meetings start is a great idea. The City Council needs all the divine help that it can get. The question to ask is: Are they praying to the right gods? We want our city to be successful, prosperous, and well protected. Given these needs one would expect City Council to propitiate the Hindu elephant god Ganesh. Or at least seek the divine favors of Saturn, Mercury, Bishamon, or Tua Peh Kong. But who does City Council pray to the majority of times? Jesus! Can you believe it? We expect our city to prosper by praying in the name of a man whose god despises money? This is the man who believed the world would end two thousand years ago and actually forbid his followers from praying in public!! We are lucky the City Council hasn’t caused his god to reign down fire and brimstone upon our fair city. Then there is the issue of time. Praying to one god at each meeting is not efficient. At that rate it would take nearly ten years just to cover the variations of god in the different sects of Christianity. And that does not begin to touch upon the gods of the four thousand other religions in the world. The only efficient way to manage prayer, and not piss off a god for being overlooked, is to start a “No God Left Behind” prayer program. Implementing such a program will without doubt enable Colorado Springs to become one of the most successful cities in the entire country. Once the city has built the temples and hired the priests and priestesses needed to appease all the Divinities, I will be the first one to stop by and offer a donation.